Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
