look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
