Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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