your room smells of hookers.
And success
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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