sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
