I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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