just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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