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I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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