Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
