it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
