Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
