I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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