never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
