This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
