Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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