Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
