but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
