You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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