sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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