There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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