dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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