i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just found a bag of teeth...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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