last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
