Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
