in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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