I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
