we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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