Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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