I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
