i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
