i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
