Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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