We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize