I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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