Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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