Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
