Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
