so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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