He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
