don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
