The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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