week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
