found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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