dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
