i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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