My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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