it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
