I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
