Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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