You work out of a Hotel?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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