Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
