Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
