it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize