just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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