Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
