Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
