we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
