Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
