we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
