I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize