white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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