chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
