i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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