also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am naked and annoyed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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