So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
