I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
