Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
